| entry one.... |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|12:57 am] |
what am i doing? i'm not homeless, or poor, or too fucked up....why can't i be happy? i feel stagnant in my life. yet i should be happy. maybe i'm just afraid of being comfortable...afraid of what i'm missing. i'm not who my parents wanted me to be, but i'm not who i wanted to be either. i have a boyfriend who adores me, but i'm constantly flirting. i don't like being comfortable with him. i'm afraid i'll take him for granted.
part of me wishes i was still the wide eyed 15 year old i was before reality came crashing in, but i also know if it weren't for reality, i'd be a spoiled bitch who couldn't fend for herself.
fucking a---. i'm not scared of death or being alone, i'm more scared of complacency, conformity, not every feeling or having passion again.
i'm an idiot. |
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thebruiseddream's journal
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